The benefits from disease

Excerpt from the book High energy happiness by Louise Thomson

Do you like having a problem?

This question will probably annoy you, but that is okay. I am not here to be liked although that’s always nice!), I am here to challenge and guide you to health as soon as possible. This is an essential question, and it might annoy you, too! I can live with that, because asking this question and being deeply honest with yourself about the answer, are key steps towards constructing your life of happiness and energy.

Do you, in fact, like having a problem? What benefits are you getting from feeling so tired? I said you wouldn’t like it. I am sure you are shouting at me right now. There is nothing good about feeling tired all the time! How rude of you to even suggest that there might be. What an insult!

Bear with me and I’ll give you an example from my own journey. When I finally got so sick that I collapsed at work and never went back, part of me felt relieved. It’s fair to say that job didn’t serve me any longer and I dreaded each day. It wasn’t that the job or the place were bad, it was their fit with me that was the problem. And being so sick meant that I didn’t have to go there any more. Genius! Brilliant, right? Despite the horror of being bedridden there was a definite hidden benefit – I Wasn’t consciously choosing it, but it was a benefit nonetheless.

So that’s me being brutally honest. There was a pay-off to adrenal fatigue for me, big time. And there will be a pay-off for you too. Maybe you were too tired to look after your sick, infuriating mother. Maybe you are really tired and that means lots of extra sympathy and attention from your usually inattentive and preoccupied family or boyfriend. Maybe, like me, it gets you time off from a job that crushes your spirit, without you having to do the hard thing and resign. Maybe it gets you out of sex with your husband whom you don’t really love anymore and, rather than front up for a divorce, the tiredness just lets you abdicate that responsibility.

Yes, I know we have only just started and it may seem as though I am being hard on you. But I am doing this because I care about you. I want you to have a life bursting with joy and zing, and to do and have that you need to be honest, really honest about what is really going on for you. This is tough love right here. What situation or relationship are you getting out of , or what attention are you getting. Go ahead. Think about it. This is important, answer the questions and write it down.

  • A benefit I get from being continually fatigued is ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
  • The truth of this situation is I want to leave my (job/husband/country/parenting group/whatever) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

There. Well done. That wasn’t so hard, right? Admitting it to yourself is really important. Because, the thing is, your body already knows this truth. It knows there is a situation (or more than one) in your life where either:

There is something present that your inner, truest self just cannot tolerate

Or

There is something absent that your inner, truest self absolutely needs.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to do anything about what you have just uncovered here (unless you want to).l For now it’s just enough to bring it into awareness. It’s about being completely honest with yourself. Have a good think while you are on a roll. Is there anything else that is secretly benefiting you from being so tired?

  • Another benefit I get from being continually fatigued is that I ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
  • The truth of the situation is that I want to ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
  • Or, I want to ask …………………………………………….. for ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
  • Is there anything else you are getting out of it? List it here. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Well done, you. Tough love, like I say, but that honesty is important. Your body already knows what you just shared above. It’s been working silently on your behalf to try to change your situation by bringing you fatigue. When you start getting honest with yourself and making empowered choices from a fully conscious place, your unconscious and your body won’t have to step in and try to do it for you.

Louise Thompson, life coach.